It is easy to get lost in the world of parenthood and ignore other areas of your life. I know I have been there, especially during the first few months of post-partum, where healing and getting into my new routine with my little one was my biggest priority. However, as you navigate this next chapter as a new parent living abroad, it is also important to carve out quality time with your partner – at the end of the day, you are both a team and keeping your connection strong will help you get through those long days (and nights) that come with parenting.

As a first-time mom living abroad in Germany, I have found this to be even more necessary. When you are living far from extended family, you truly *only* rely on your significant other to get by. So how can you help foster your relationship and stay connected to your partner as you navigate becoming first-time parents? How do you make time for one another as new parents abroad without much support around?

Below, I outline 3 creative and easy-to-implement ways to carve out couple-time as new parents (If you are a single parent, then making time for yourself when possible is just as important – so these tips can be applicable to anyone!)

Schedule Day-Dates

This is my favorite go-to strategy for carving out couple time as new parents. Since we do not have family around to offer consistent babysitting, we have moved date nights to date days. Luckily for us, with both my husband and I having (somewhat) flexible jobs, we started this new tradition to take off a half day once a month to go on a date day while our daughter is in nursery school. These dates are marked in our family calendar and we try to stick to it. Whether that is to meet for lunch or a coffee, any amount of time we can spend (alone) just the two of us has become more meaningful for us now as parents. Our only rule? We cannot talk about parenting or our child during these dates! These moments are an opportunity for us to reconnect with one another and discuss other topics that we often do not get the chance to talk about.

Brand Regular Activities as a “Date”

For the days when we do not have a lot of time (or energy) to plan much else, this is my favorite thing to turn back to. Making mundane everyday activities more exciting by branding them as a “date”, gives my husband and I the feeling that we are making simple activities more fun and something to look forward to. For us, these activities can be anything from watching a documentary (nerdy, but fun for us), playing a board game, cooking a meal together or simply going out for a walk. If we brand these more mundane activities as a “date”, it gives us the feeling that we are making, what often feels like a casual activity, more special. I specially love when we plan these activities a day or two in advance and we know we have something to look forward to at the end of the work week. We specially like to do try these “dates” in the evening, once our little one is asleep, when we can have longer stretches of time together. During this time, we try our best to keep phones away to make sure we are present in the moment and enjoying this quality time together. While simple, these small “dates” help us feel more connected. While you give this a go – why not dress up for the occasion to make it even more special? I love a good excuse to throw on something other than joggers!

Work on a Long-term Creative Project Together

Want to build some healthy competition or work towards a goal together? This can be anything from working on a DIY project at home, doing a couples workbook, or doing a step-count competition together (hear me out on this one, it was fun and a nice way to motivate each other to stay healthy!). My husband and I would do weekly competitions to see who would get the most steps in a day and then check in with each other at the end of the week to see who got the most steps in. Winner would always get a small gift from the other person (ideally something that required us to spend time together) – whether it was cooking the other person’s favorite meal or buying them a coffee. These small projects always gave us something to work towards together and they are great ways to stay connected and motivated. Plus, I loved when my husband and I would have an excuse to text each other during the work day and ask “so how many steps do you have so far today?” 🙂

Parenting demands a lot of our time and energy, often leaving us tired by the end of the day. However, it is important to carve out time for your partner (or for yourself if you are a single parent). Remember, that you and your partner are a team and teams require time and attention to nurture their relationship and grow stronger together – and honestly, to simply survive the demands of parenthood. These simple and creative ways for how you and your partner can make time for each other as new parents, specially when living abroad, are easy to implement and often do not require too much of your time. However, they will make a long-lasting impact on you and your partner’s relationship for years to come.

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