Tell us about yourself: I was born in Liverpool and raised in Chester and lived there until 2000. That was the year everything changed! I qualified as an early years teacher; got married; and moved to Zurich. My husband, Nick, had been working there temporarily and then actually got a permanent position. I worked as a teacher for a few years and stopped when the children started arriving- Stefanie, Rebekka and Alfie were all born there. At that time, I had my own business; Sing and Sign classes for parents and babies. I loved running those classes!

I have to say, when we left the UK I didn’t really think too much about moving abroad – I just went with it. Nick already made friends with his colleagues and I made friends with my new work colleagues.

After 8 years we had the chance to move to Dubai – so off we went! That was another great move but very different to living in Switzerland. Whereas Zurich is relatively calm and green…Dubai was the exact opposite. But we threw ourselves into life there and took advantage of having a maid to help with the housework and children. We also had our fourth child there – George – our little desert baby!

Dubai was great but so transient. We had so many friends come and go, I think it was especially tough for the kids. When we got the call in 2013 to move to Germany we jumped at the chance to leave Dubai and were ready to feel more settled.

When we arrived I purposefully set out to make friends with locals. Quite tricky though when the only German you know is “Hallo” and “Ja!” So we moved to the sleepy village of Altenhain and started German lessons. One of the things I regret is not putting our kids immediately into a local school. Instead, we put them into a German curriculum with English (phorms) schools. Unfortunately this was a huge mistake as they were not learning German. We then moved the boys to a local KG and the girls to a local school and while they will admit they suffered with the German initially, they are now fluent and both girls are planning on going to university here.

Emotionally it was so much better for all of us to be in a less transient environment and we have friends now that we have known since we arrived! I will admit that for my husband and I most of our friends speak good English and we usually start in German…then change to English.

2. How do you balance motherhood and entrepreneurship?

I worked as a KG teacher in an MSF until 2022. After this, I was ready for a change. I turned 50 in July; finally I had four teenagers instead of toddlers; and I wanted a change. I already trained as a doula when we lived in Dubai and decided to do some refresher training. At the same time I started reading about Sleep Coaching. The more I read about it, the more I felt it would be a perfect role for me. So I embarked on training with the Sleep Nanny Academy. While my still kids need me, they do not need me in the same way they needed me as when they were younger. So I have time now to be able to work from home and a good balance between my family and running my own business (Jane the Sleep Coach).

3. Biggest challenge you have faced since becoming a mom abroad?

My husband and I fortunately have very supportive families. They never said one negative word about all of our moves. They have come over fairly regularly to see us and help out. But, the biggest challenge for me has been not having them right there for those emergencies. I also feel sad sometimes as we have missed a lot of family events. For example, my Mum celebrates her birthday on Christmas Day but we haven’t been home for Christmas for ten years. So it’s things like that that I reflect on sometimes. Also our children are not seeing their cousins as much as they would have if we were back in the U.K. However, we’ve had some wonderful times all together. Perhaps we wouldn’t have made such special memories if we had lived down the road!

4. If you could go back in time, what would you have liked to know before having your first child abroad?

I was relaxed having my children abroad in Switzerland. The health care system is/was so good there. I loved the homely hospital feel and that you were encouraged to stay for 5 days after the birth! However, not having any maternity pay (I think it was two months at the time) was a shock. But that’s why I started the Sing and Sign classes.

The only thing I would have done differently is to make sure my mum was there to help me out during the first few weeks. I still remember the first morning that Nick left me and Stefanie at home while he went back to work. That silence – and then the crying began!!! I just thought – What now? Is this it?

Frankfurt, Germany

5. How would you describe the experience of parenting abroad in Germany?

I would say that parenting in Germany has been ok for us. We have one son with autism and another with ADHD so we can help anyone with what to do in these situations. It was all immensely challenging and time consuming trying to find help. But, when we finally got on the right track, everything was fine. I would advise anyone in a similar situation to keep pushing forward especially as waiting lists for appointments can be up to a year long.

The thing I found most difficult about coming here was that it was easier to meet people in Dubai. There were so many play areas, play groups with 50 + mums! Most mums did not work and were always happy to have a coffee or meet up with the kids. I found it quite tricky here as most parents seemed to work and I couldn’t find any local playgroups at the time.

I have to admit I felt quite lonely at first. It was also a very different situation at school since the kids walked by themselves- no mums gossiping at the school gates 🙂 I also found it so strange that we never chatted with the class teacher. That was a real shock, especially as an educator, I always felt a bond with the parents which in turn made the bond with the students even stronger.

However, this is something we wanted – to be more settled. For the kids to be in a normal environment, walking by themselves to school. When we started chatting with other parents we quickly started to make friends and that led to feeling more comfortable. Luckily, the kids made life-long friends too.

6. What advice do you have for fellow new expat parents?

I would say to think about how long you will most likely stay here. If it’s for a short time perhaps stick with the expat world and make the most of that. But if you are thinking of staying long-term, try to immerse yourself in the local culture. Take German classes, go along to parent evenings even if you don’t understand anything. Just give it a go! There are so many great local activities for kids arranged by the Vereins.

7. Favorite resource(s) for international families in Germany?

Jane the Sleep Coach
Mama Maps
Nest and Wings
Expat groups on Facebook

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