There is nothing like a trip back “home” to the U.S. to help me reflect on how much I have changed since moving abroad to Germany. Now as a first-time parent raising children abroad, I have noticed this personal transformation even more – especially during my visits back to Boston to visit family and friends.

My most recent trip taught me that, the way my partner and I are choosing to raise children and live our family life looks different and more unconventional than it might look like if we were living back in the U.S. Unconventional in this context for me refers to the ways I have redefined my meaning of the “American Dream” and how I am choosing to live life differently than I would if I was otherwise living back in the states.

Here are some ways I consider myself living a more unconventional life abroad in Germany with my family:

✨ We live in a small city apartment: This is a big topic amongst my friends group! For some of us having grown up in the U.S., there is this ideal that the “American Dream” should encompass living in a big house with a white picket fence and a garden. This of course all sounds lovely and there is nothing wrong with wanting these things, but where did we get this idea that this is the way to settle down with a family? We are currently living in a small one-bedroom apartment (50 square meters) and so far, it has worked for us. Of course, this does require a lot of organization and minimal things, but it is possible to also raise a family in this way.
✨ We do not own a car: Along with the house, having a car is another thing on the ongoing list of items that I would personally feel pressured to buy if I was living in the U.S. Of course, there are reasons why we do not exactly need to have one in Frankfurt – good public transit and easy walkable city. We also live very close to the city center and have access to a very good public transit system. While I see the convenience of having a car, specially with children, it is not always necessary.
✨ We do most of our traveling via train: Another perk of living in Europe, you can get around to many places without relying on a car and visit other countries using long-distance trains. It is one of the many things I love about living abroad in Germany! Plus, I have found based on my experience of traveling to 7 different countries with my child during her first year that traveling via long-distance train with children is much more convenient than doing long roadtrips.
✨ We live a more minimalistic lifestyle (not a lot of toys and furniture): Having grown up in a consumerist culture, it is sometimes hard for me to differentiate what my family needs vs. just simply what we want. Raising children abroad in Germany and living in a smaller home has helped me identify more clearly what my needs vs. my wants are. It is freeing to be living abroad on our own where we can define our rules on how we want to live without too much external pressure to live life in a certain way.

For me, expat life in Germany allows me more freedom and flexibility to live my life in a different way and step out of the norm (or at least, what I am used to from having grown up in a capitalist system). Every trip back home emphasizes this and helps me reflect on how much I have changed as a person. There are of course things I carry with me from my distinct cultures (Dominican and American) that impact my everyday life and decisions. However, I am grateful to live and raise children abroad where I have found a new freedom to redesign my life in the way that I want, while taking parts of my different cultures that I want to carry with me.