I am twice an immigrant.

The first time I moved abroad, my family and I migrated to the U.S. in 1997 in search of what we believed to be the “American Dream.” Our move was not entirely by choice – we were escaping poverty and poor living conditions back in Dominican Republic and headed to the States in search of a better life. The second time I moved abroad, I came to Germany in 2018 for love, adventure, and a new challenge. I recognize that it is a privilege to migrate to another country not out of necessity but rather, by choice. It is a privilege I never take for granted and often remind myself of during the hard days when life abroad as an expat becomes challenging (those days happen often especially now as I navigate becoming a first-time parent abroad living in Germany).

While I feel fortunate to have this experience**, relocating to a new country comes with its challenges – especially when you live in a place that is not entirely “home.”** Particularly now, as a woman of color raising a multicultural, multilingual child abroad in a foreign country. This journey is filled with challenges and new learnings and requires strength, commitment, and unwavering determination. From identity struggles in a new environment to preserving cultural heritage and language while trying to raise culturally conscious children – there is a lot for me to navigate in this new chapter of my life as a foreigner living abroad in Europe.

Here are some of the challenges I have encountered along this beautiful journey of being an expat parent and woman of color in Germany:

Language and Communication Barriers

As a multilingual family, we put in a lot of effort to expose our daughter to our different languages. I constantly have to balance exposing my daughter to my native language (Spanish) while also myself learning her native language (German). My husband and I try the one-parent-one-language rule in our home as we raise our trilingual daughter. I speak Spanish while my husband speaks German to our daughter – and together, we speak English. Three languages is a lot to navigate and I oftentimes feel the pressure to ensure my daughter maintains a good balance between the three. As I continue to learn German (I am now roughly at level B2 but still have a lot to learn!) and raise my daughter in Germany, I feel the pressure to learn the language quickly. Having watched my mother and family struggle to navigate life in a new country when they first moved to the U.S. due to the lack of knowing English, I feel a *big* sense of responsibility to learn German and be able to advocate for my daughter without needing to depend on her or my husband to translate. So while I teach my daughter Spanish and English, I am also going through my own journey of learning a foreign language.

Education and Representation

As a multicultural family, I also feel a sense of responsibility to expose my child to her diverse cultures. One way we are trying to promote diversity in our home is through reading and exposing my daughter to books in Spanish, German and English that include diverse characters she can connect with along with attending multicultural activities in Frankfurt. However, even while living abroad in a multicultural city like Frankfurt, seeking out diverse books, music, and diverse experiences in Germany to keep my child connected to her mixed background is not always easy. Exposing my multicultural child to diverse cultural activities and events that promote diversity requires putting myself out there and connecting with other international families and exchange ideas.When searching for diverse books, I oftentimes find it hard to find these abroad, so I usually take advantage during trips back home to Boston to purchase these.

Building a Supportive Community

This is perhaps the hardest to navigate as a woman of color raising children abroad. Back in the U.S., I have my support network of family and close friends. It was easy for me to know who to turn to in times of need and who were the people around me I can rely on when I needed support. Now living abroad in Germany, creating a sense of belonging for myself and my family abroad is not always easy. However, by putting myself out there and connecting with other foreigners, I have been lucky to have found some supportive expat communities and meet-ups here in Frankfurt. Having a supportive community of friends and parents abroad who understand and can empathize with the many challenges we face abroad, has been healing for me in the post-partum and parenting journey. It is important to find your allies and people you can count on to listen, validate your feelings and provide a safe space to share your feelings and concerns.

On top of having to navigate all the intricacies of raising multicultural children abroad as a woman of color, I also have to make time to reflect on how this experience has changed me. With busy days of parenting and with little to no time for myself, I find it difficult to find the time to process how this experience continues to impact my identity. For me, this is one of the most important parts of this experience because too often we as parents tend to forget about ourselves in this journey. Typically, our personal to-do list or time for self-care and relaxation does not happen until the late hours of the day once the children are sleep (if they happen at all). Not having this time for reflection and recharging, often leaves me depleted of energy. Finding time for myself, while processing how I am changing along this journey, is something I still struggle with today. At the same time, this blog serves as a means of reflection for me and has been a major part of my healing 🙂

Parenting is already challenging enough. Coupled with living abroad, far from family, in a country outside of your own, while raising conscious multicultural children can make it even more difficult. Based on my experience, there is an added level of complexity that comes from raising multicultural children abroad as a woman of color. I am constantly having to balance the challenges that come from raising culturally sensitive children while confronting biases and preserving my own cultural identity. For me, it has also meant putting in extra effort to ensure I am raising a strong and resilient child who feels connected to her mixed background. It is a lot of work and I am grateful for my supportive expat community helping me navigate it all. As I move forward along in this journey of parenting abroad, my only wish is to raise a child who is proud of her mixed background and heritage and hopefully, can carry this through every new journey she might embark on in the future!

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