Sometimes, it is easy to focus on the hardships that come with this new experience of having and raising children abroad. While this journey is certainly not an easy one, it definitely has its perks. Otherwise, why else would we continue to stay here and not return back to our “comfort zone”?

For me, Germany has been filled with opportunities for both personal and professional growth. While it is not always easy, I do see the benefits of living abroad “alone” with children – I put alone in quotation marks here because I am grateful to have a supportive partner and his side of the family around to help. So alone in this case for me means that, I am not close to my own family.

After experiencing first-hand the trials and tribulations that come with giving birth abroad and raising a family in Germany on my own, what continues to keep me and my family here? When the days get tough and the nostalgia for returning home sets in, here are some of the positive things this experience has taught me so far:

You set the Rules for how you want to Raise your Child

In Dominican culture, it is normal for extended family members to be involved in your upbringing. While this is one of the beautiful things about my culture as you really grow up being “raised by a village”, it can also feel overwhelming. Living abroad is allowing me the autonomy to create my own identity as a mom in this parenting journey. I get to make decisions along with my partner about what we believe to be best for our family.

Motivates you to Create new Traditions

Now as a new mom, I find myself being more aware of any special holidays that are important for my family. These days, you can find me as one of the first in line at Rossman in search of festive holiday decor and brainstorming any special traditions I want to create with my family. While we typically spend major holidays such as Christmas with our extended family, we try our best to do our own celebrations shortly before we go to family. This allows us to still share those holidays with other family members, while also carving time for our own traditions.

Can bring you and your Partner closer Together

When it is just you and your partner going through this experience, it can certainly bring you closer together. The journey of parenting without your extended support system around, requires partners to rely more on each other more for support and builds better communication skills. It is a constant balancing act and you quickly realize that, the only way to get through the tough days as new parents living abroad is to stick together and work closely as a team – while giving the other person a break when they desperately need it.

Build your own Community of Support

Raising children abroad in Germany is teaching me about the importance of building a solid community. Living far away from my family motivates me to create my own community of support abroad – one I can trust and rely on. While my energy is running low these days as parenting “alone” can be exhausting. I do make the effort to connect with other families weekly. Whether it is just for a quick playdate with the kids or a solo coffee date with a fellow expat mom, fostering those relationships is crucial in building your parenthood community abroad. So whether that is weekly, bi-weekly, or monthly, I find that being a parent abroad motivates me to make time for those connections that truly matter.

So for the days that feel overwhelming and lonely when raising kids in Germany as an expat, I like to turn back to this list. It serves as a reminder that this experience is really not all that bad and that there is so much to be thankful for. In the end, it shows us just as strong we truly are!

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