Before having a child, I considered myself a detailed organizer and planner. Some may call it a “Type-A” but, I like to refer to myself as more of a “Futurist” – or at least, that is what my Clifton Strengths Finder Report shared is one of my top 5 strengths! As humans, we are naturally creatures of habit, and going into parenting, I thought I had my organizational and planning skills down pat.

I was wrong.

I had to quickly learn new ways and methods to find a balance between my family and personal life. In parenting, I have learned it is all about living, learning, and then readjusting.

You live and try new ways to cope and manage your new busy lives.
You learn from past mistakes and figure out new ways to solve everyday challenges that may come up.
Then, you readjust and explore new ways of doing things until you find something that works for you and your family.

Many failed attempts later, my husband and I learned to find (some sort) of balance as new parents which allowed time as a family, couple, and as individuals. All things which in my opinion, are crucial for developing a healthy identity as a new parent living abroad. Disclaimer: things do not always work out in perfect harmony and unexpected challenges do come up. However, I have found these three tips to be the most helpful in building healthy routines as an expat family living abroad in Germany:

3 Tips for Building Healthy Routines as a Family

1. Create a Family Schedule – and stick to it! Who is responsible for the bedtime routine for your little one(s)? Do you alternate who plans meals and after-school pick-ups? What days do you do your grocery runs? Setting daily and weekly routines as a family helps keep everyone on track. Creating a family schedule helps you (and your partner) delegate repetitive weekly tasks (cooking, cleaning, taking out the trash, buying groceries etc.) and ensure you are sharing equal responsibilities when possible.
2. Carve out time for Weekly Self-Care and Alone Time Practicing self-care as an expat couple living abroad is not always easy. In this case, parenting “alone” for me can feel like an isolating and tiring experience. Making time for consistent self-care and alone time makes for healthy parents who can then better parent their children. My husband and I try to carve out time for individual alone time every week. This gives us the chance to do the things we enjoy that are important to us. Activities like working out, learning, reading, bike riding, or simply going out for a coffee. When possible (and if you can find a babysitter), carve out self-care time you can also share with your partner!
3. Foster your Social Life: Stay Connected with Family & Friends In the midst of sleepless nights and trying to balance work, parenting, and family life, finding time for socializing can be difficult (and exhausting!) However, staying connected to your loved ones and your community is part of having a healthy balance. Parenting abroad can sometimes feel like a lonely experience, so making time to foster close relationships around you can help you feel connected and supported.

As you map out your family and individual routines, keeping track of everything might also feel like a daunting task. So adding these rituals to a calendar (Google, your phone, or simply a printed calendar) will help keep everyone organized and on track. Having a calendar my husband and I have access to where we write down any special events and reminders that are important for our family, helps us coordinate our days and plan in advance when needed.

As a new mother living abroad in Germany – far from my own family – finding small life hacks that make the long and stressful days easier, is important for my family and my overall well-being. While I am constantly living, learning, and readjusting as schedules (even when planned) can be disrupted – I am glad I can carry over some of my “Futurist” and organizing tricks into my new role as a parent.

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